Trans Man Opens Up About Being Misgendered During Childbirth: “Motherhood Isn’t Tied to Gender”
In today’s world, using someone’s chosen name and pronouns isn’t just polite—it’s a meaningful way to affirm and respect their identity, whether they’re straight, gay, transgender, or non-binary.
But for Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old from Los Angeles, that respect wasn’t always extended—especially during one of the most personal and vulnerable experiences of his life: giving birth to his son.
In October 2020, Bennett welcomed his son Hudson via cesarean section, with the support of his husband, Malik. At the time, Bennett identified as male and used he/him pronouns (he now identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him and they/them). Despite clearly indicating his gender on medical forms, hospital staff repeatedly misgendered him—referring to him as “mom” throughout his stay.
“Transgender Man Speaks Out After Being Misgendered by Nurses Following Childbirth”
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Trans Man Opens Up About Being Misgendered During Childbirth: “Motherhood Isn’t Tied to Gender”
In today’s world, using someone’s chosen name and pronouns isn’t just polite—it’s a meaningful way to affirm and respect their identity, whether they’re straight, gay, transgender, or non-binary.
But for Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old from Los Angeles, that respect wasn’t always extended—especially during one of the most personal and vulnerable experiences of his life: giving birth to his son.
In October 2020, Bennett welcomed his son Hudson via cesarean section, with the support of his husband, Malik. At the time, Bennett identified as male and used he/him pronouns (he now identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him and they/them). Despite clearly indicating his gender on medical forms, hospital staff repeatedly misgendered him—referring to him as “mom” throughout his stay.
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A Journey of Self-Discovery—and Parenthood
Bennett began his transition in 2014, three years after realizing he was transgender. Years into his transition and after undergoing top surgery (but no lower-body procedures), he and Malik decided to start a family. This meant pausing testosterone therapy so that his reproductive system could function again—an emotional and physical challenge that Bennett approached with careful thought and courage.
“We had only been trying a short while, so we expected the process to take longer than it did,” Bennett shared. Soon after, he became pregnant naturally.
Then the pandemic hit. “This was just about a week before lockdown in March 2020. My high spirits quickly gave way to anxiety about how to stay safe,” he recalled.
Misgendered and Dismissed
What should have been a joyful, affirming journey was marred by constant misgendering from medical professionals.
“The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened when I was getting medical care,” Bennett explained. Despite clearly identifying as male, hospital staff frequently referred to him as a mother, ignoring the gender markers on his chart.
He told the New York Post: “The business of pregnancy—and yes, I say business, because the entire institution of pregnancy care in America is centered around selling this concept of ‘motherhood’—is so intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape being misgendered.”
Challenging Traditional Notions of Parenthood
Now an advocate for inclusive reproductive care, Bennett is using his voice to challenge the outdated belief that motherhood and womanhood are synonymous.
“No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try—being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” he said. “That’s why it’s so important we stop defining ‘womanhood’ by ‘motherhood.’ It’s a false equivalency. Not all women can or want to be mothers, and not all people who give birth are women.”
A Loving Family, A Powerful Message
Today, Hudson is a joyful three-year-old, and Bennett and Malik couldn’t be prouder parents.
Their story is a powerful reminder: honoring someone’s gender identity—especially in medical and deeply personal settings—is not optional. It’s essential.
What are your thoughts on Bennett’s story? Have you experienced or witnessed similar situations? Share your perspective in the comments below.