“Am I Wrong for Being Upset? My 70-Year-Old Mom Spent $1,800 on a Dress Instead of Helping with My Son’s College Fund”
I never thought I’d find myself questioning my mother’s priorities, but here I am, staring at a receipt for a designer dress that cost nearly $1,800. And in my mind, it isn’t just a dress. It’s a decision—a choice she made when she could have used that money to help with her grandson’s college tuition.
My mom, now 70, has always been the epitome of practicality. She raised five kids on a tight budget, always putting family first, making sure we had what we needed, and sacrificing so much along the way. Whether it was taking on extra shifts to fund our school trips or wearing the same coat for years so we could have new clothes, she always made sure we were taken care of. Growing up, I don’t think I ever saw her spend a cent on herself beyond the essentials.
So, when I found out she spent nearly $2,000 on a designer dress—just to wear to her book club or an occasional luncheon—I was completely stunned.
My son, Jason, is about to start college, and every penny counts. The cost of tuition, books, housing—it’s overwhelming. I wasn’t expecting her to pay for everything, but a little help would have made a world of difference. And now, all I could think about was that $1,800 dress sitting in her closet, barely worn, while my son faced an even bigger pile of student loans.
I had to say something. I couldn’t keep the frustration inside, so I brought it up, carefully. “Mom,” I said one afternoon over coffee, “I saw the dress you bought. It’s beautiful, but… I don’t understand. That money could have helped Jason with his college expenses.”
She took a slow sip of her tea, setting the cup down gently before meeting my gaze. “I know,” she said softly. “And I thought about that.”
Her calmness only made me more frustrated. “Then why?”
She exhaled deeply, her hands folding neatly in her lap. “Because for seventy years, I’ve been more than just a mother. I’ve always put my children’s needs first. I sacrificed things I wanted, even little things, without a second thought.”
She paused, looking off into the distance, lost in a sea of memories I had never fully understood. “But now… now I’m seventy. My children are grown. I love my grandchildren, and I’ll always help where I can. But just once, I wanted to do something for myself. Something that made me feel special. Something that reminded me that I am still a person, not just a mother and a grandmother.”
Her words hung in the air, and for the first time, I didn’t know how to respond.
Had I ever stopped to think about how much she had given? How much of herself she had sacrificed over the years? Maybe I had been so focused on my own struggles—on the mounting costs of Jason’s education—that I hadn’t realized she had already given everything. She had spent decades putting us first, without a second thought. And now, for the first time in her life, she was asking for something just for her.
That night, I went home and sat with my thoughts. Was I still upset? A little. Did I still wish she’d used that money for my son? Of course. But for the first time, I saw the situation from her perspective.
She wasn’t just my mother, or Jason’s grandmother. She was a woman who had given her entire life to others, and after seventy years of selfless sacrifice, she was finally allowing herself a moment of indulgence.
And maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t selfish at all.